I don't know what to tell you
by JohnAlpaqa
Summary: Canon MJ comes from an abusive family, this fic explores this idea, so feel warned if that's your trigger. Takes place not long after the movie Spider-man Homecoming. I will (probably) write more chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"I won't show up to the Decathlon practise tomorrow, tell Harrington"  
He is not really sure why MJ texted on facebook him out of all the students in the team, but whatever. He quickly replied:  
"Not a problem"  
"If he'll be mad, tell him I'm visiting a doctor or think up something else reasonable"  
Since when does she even care, Mr. Harrington's cool and even if he wasn't, it's not a big deal. There certainly are bigger deals that she doesn't care about at all. She is the team capitan now, maybe that's it?  
"He won't be mad"  
He can hear that she have replied, but he can also hear May calling him, because the pancakes are ready. They are too hot to eat now anyway, so he looks at the screen of his smartphone and reads:  
"I don't know, I'm not used to people not going nuts all the time, I live with my father."  
Gosh, that's… Sad? That's not a question, of course that's sad, but why did she wrote that? He've never heard her speaking like this, or talking about her family at all. Is it like a random honest throwaway or a confession? Is he supposed to make a joke or comfort her?  
"So how was the school today? And, you know, spider-maning?" said May unexpectedly.  
"Fine. I'm always fine in school, school's easy. And the other thing? Nothing happened in this neighbourhood all day, at one moment I thought there'll be a bag theft, but no, I'm just getting paranoiac. I'll go again at night."  
It was weird how normal was aunt May with all that superhero stuff. At first she was freaking out, of course, but afer he explained to her why it is different when he puts himself in danger and when any other fifteen-year-old jumps between buildings, she started to be more chill about it. Pros of living in a world full of strangely dressed crime fighters, probably. He still felt guilty about not telling her why he really swings between buildings, but he simply couldn't force himself to tell anyone about his part is uncle Ben's death, her especially. He told her that he has to use his superpowers for good, because if he doesn't, the bad things are his fault, but have never told her that these are uncle Ben's words, not his. It was killing him, particularly when she thanked him for eventually being honest.  
"Just be careful"  
"I always am"  
Pancakes and May talking to him from the kitchen redirected his attention from weird textmessage from MJ. Really, what to write to her? It would be rude not to write back now.  
"I'm sorry that your father is like that" It sounded very stupid and basic, but he decided writing his first thought was probably the best idea, because anything other than that would probably look forced. Well, it would be forced.  
"Yeah, me too"  
Ok, it is officially worse.  
"Stop looking at you phone and eat before it'll go cold"  
A least he had a reason not to answer immediately, the pancakes will go cold. What should you say to a person who's telling you her father that you don't even know is shitty? Telling her it's probably not that bad sounded like the worst possible thing, because it might be even worse, how would he know. Kids in school complain about their parents all the time, but somehow it seemed worse than usual "I hate my mother, she won't let me go to a party" stuff. His confusion over the plate of pancakes was interrupted by another message that he decided to see risking May giving him the look again.  
"Is your father like this too? Giving you hell whether there is a reason or no, if there is none thinking some shit up to shout at you for three hours?"  
Ough.  
Now he knows what to write, because there is only one possible answer, but that doesn't make it better at all. It's just… any other reply would be a lie, but Michelle very much doesn't want to read that next message now. That's the worst possible thing to see as a reply to a confession about an abusive father. He would ask May what to do, but at this point it would be giving someone's secrets away. Maybe not answerig at all would be a better option? Maybe it's better to be rude for her own good? No, that would make her feel like her problem is not worth a reply on freaking facebook. Gosh, he is supposed to help people, but he has no idea how to even don't make this worse.  
He finishes pancakes so he doesn't make May sad too.  
And then he writes, feeling like a shit:  
"My parents are dead"  
Sometimes he wishes his parents were alive, that's true, but that's because he'd like to meet them since he doesn't remmber them at all. Right now he wishes they were alive, so MJ wouldn't have to read this message.  
"Ugh, sorry" of course she replies that, because now she will feel guilty about complaining about her alive father.  
What to write now? That it's not a big deal? It's not like it isn't. This conversation is a trainwreck.  
"My father being dead does not make your less awful" That's probably smartest thing he've said in this conversation, and it's not even that smart.  
"Yeah, but idk, I'm shitting on my father to you, and your is dead, I feel bad."  
Yes. Yes, she does.  
Ugh, he goes back to his room, because now he is just staring at his phone and supposingly making some troubled faces, May will probably ask him if everything's alright in a minute.  
"Don't feel bad, seriously, if your father is this bad, you shouldn't feel bad about complaining about him at all"  
"But I do, even when I'm complaining to a person with alive parents" and suddenly this conversation gets even more intimate, much more intimate than what he would ever expect from a conversation with MJ.  
"You really shouldn't"  
"Don't tell me what to do, loser"  
There it is, MJ again.


	2. Chapter 2

"I was hesitant to text it, I was afraid you'll be upset. Srsly, don't be" He chose to ignore that last message.  
Next text came after a few minutes and he already started thinking she chose to ignore that whole conversation.  
"I feel like a shit"  
Is telling someone not to feel bad for the third time in a row supportive or just annoying? He doesn't know what to write back, so he writes whatever comes to his mind.  
"I'm repeating myself, but don't mind about my parents at all, please"  
"It's not just that"  
It's impossible to answer, so he does not. If she won't write anything besides that, he'll close that facebook window and do something else, work on his web shooters or maybe do homework. Maybe. He rarely does homework, most times he's able to read from an empty notebook, and when he is not, his GPA survives it anyway.  
Okay, he can see that she writes something.  
„It's that there is a big social pressure not to talk bad about your parents and to respect them no matter what, so I do not only not feel comfortable complaining about them, I also feel bad even thinking bad about my father and that's crazy, because he is an awful person. And now I feel bad again. Also I hate myself for victim blaming myself.  
I don't know why I write you that, you probably don't care, why would you."  
Is writing that he cares cheesy? He would ask about her father more, but that is probably being too curious. But what if…  
"What kind of stuff does your father do? If he hits you, you know, that you can go to the police, right?"  
"Ugh, it's not like that at all"  
Okay, maybe he has too much to do with criminals lately. And girls with evil fathers. But he had to know for sure.  
She send another message:  
"He just gets mad all the time, shouts at me and my mother, talks about how I waste my time all the time and can't do nothing right, don't help at home, am incapable of easiest things. He can go for a few hours about how irresponsible I am, if I forget that he wanted me to cook rice for him or some shit. And if I'll go to my room he still shouts, he shouts at the door.  
Sorry for spam, I waste your time, you've got work to do with internship, school and idk what you do in your freetime or if you have some at all"  
"I have absolutely nothing to do now and you can keep complaining, I don't mind.  
if you ever wondered if it's normal for parents to do that, it's not, my uncle never did shit like this and my aunt doesn't . This sentence is weird, because my uncle recently died, but you get the point. Your father is awful, you should not feel guilty, you're the victim"  
"You have three dead parents and I complain about my domestic life. Great."  
"It's not olimpics and you know that. I live only with my aunt, so what? I don't have problems like yours because of that. Your problems are valid"  
"Why are you telling me this stuff, you sound like a feminist blog and it's me who is an angry intersectional feminist SJW from tumblr"  
"I may have read some feminist blogs"  
It gets darker and he was planning on doing some patroling this evening, but being Spider-man is about helping people, right? And maybe sometimes it is just as important to listen to your frind as it is to find a stolen bike.  
"I still feel like I'm wasting your time and I usually don't tell this stuff to people"  
"So what, you can start now, if it will make you feel better"  
Conversation gets faster and more natural, he stops overthinking every answer, just goes with the flow instead.  
"I've never complained this much about my father to anyone tbh and maybe that's because I don't have any friends but I'm not sure if I should, I feel like I've already said too much"  
"You have friends, you told us to call you MJ, don't you remember? Besides, you can trust me, I read feminist blogs"  
"I don't know, I have flashbacks from grade school and people prompting me to tell them stuff, to use that to torture me socially"  
It will be weird to talk to her in real life tomorrow. If she'll be in school. She said she won't be on a Decathlon team meeting, but does it mean she won't be in school?  
"I'm sorry that you have such a bad luck with people. Srsly tho, some of them can be trusted. You'll do whatever you want, but if you want to talk about your family I really have nothing to do all night and I can listen. Read"  
"I don't even know what do I want to complain about now, kids from grade school or family. I feel like all I do is reliving the worst moments of my life over and over again. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic"  
"I don't think so, you just had very bad luck. Also, about what your father says, that's complete and utter bullshit, for what I know you, you are very capable of doing stuff, you won a competition in DC, you are a Decathlon captain and you draw well"  
"Yeah, but when I do some stuff for school, then he's mad because I should help in home more, and when I do stuff in home, I should study, because I'm a waste of his money. Basically all I do is a waste of time. He is also mad when I go protesting, because it's wasting his money, I don't even know how's that possible"  
"It's not, he just wants to be mad. For how much you can, don't let that shit get into your head"  
"Well, I'm trying to, see how well I'm doing"  
"It will get better. Grade school ended and so it will one day. You can move out for college for sure. That's in a few years, but it's something"  
"Just a minute ago my father went into my room, saw an open laptop and me writing on it and said I do nothing but play games. Thank god he wasn't in the mood for standing in my door and shouting for an hour. About moving from them idk, he will always be my father and I'll always have to keep up with him. And it's worse than having shitty classmates, because from school you can go home, you have nowhere to run from home"  
"He wasn't like this before?"  
"No, it started a year or two ago. I mean he always was kind of weird, but now he's impossible"  
Conversation goes deeper and deeper into the night, and he feels kind of guilty, because she doesn't have a body with super abilities and will be sleep depraved tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

From the conversation they had last night, he knew she is going to some anti-Trump protest in school hours (and her father doesn't know about it). He was kind of happy about it, because it gave him an extra day before meeting her in rel life, but only kind of, because at the same time he wanted to meet her in person and continue talking with her even tho he was scared of the awkwardness.  
He had a bit of a problem with focusing during lessons, because his thoughts were wandering about MJ's. Did this conversation broke him in some way? Because now his automatic reaction to stuff was imagining what Michelle would say about it (it was always funny and clever). Is it possible to miss someone after not talking to this person for just a couple of hours?  
Would she even want to talk to him more? He was scared that maybe not, maybe she just wanted to talk then and wasn't planing on having any kind of friendship with him. Maybe the conversation that was so meaningfull and deep and confesional for him was nothing to her. It was not very probable, because she was writing about how she's not fine talking about her family, but he was scared despite evidence.  
Him „not focused" was still much better than most of the students doing their best, so only he could tell that something was different. And maybe Ned, but not really, today he was too invested in something that recently happened in wrestling to notice that Peter was somehow in his own world. He didn't tell Ned about the conversation he had last night by the way. He took it into consideration, but he would have to give him some reason for why it happened at all, and telling him anything about MJ's family seemed like giving away her secrets.  
During the math class, while he was still thinking about last night and what is Michelle up to today, he came up with an excellent idea – why not text her now? He was never using his phone during classes, but doing it just once would not kill him, right? He was more concerned with the possibility that she does not want to hear from him than with slightly violating the school code. He was also confident that he won't skip anything from the lesson, because it was just math, he'll know the right answer if asked anyway. Maybe he should not text her anymore tho? Maybe he should wait until she will text him when she'll feel like it?  
Or maybe it's the other way, maybe she is expeting him to text her?  
Anyway, now is the best time, because after school he is going to catch some bad guys.  
Feeling kind of anxious he wrote:  
"How's the protest?"  
She may always not write him back or just write „ok" or something like that if she does not want to talk to him.  
The answer came faster than he would think, the protest probably ended already.  
"Trump is still a president, so it could be better I guess"  
Just after that came another message.  
"Wait, don't you have class now? Did you write to me during lesson?"  
"Yes, I did"  
"Wow, I wouldn't expected this from you. Stop now, you'll ruin your perfect GPA"  
"You are playing truant"  
"Yes, but you're a nerd"  
"I am, but somehow I feel safe about my GPA"  
"Don't get cocky"  
"Yeah, like you don't know how it is. You won't convince me it's not just as easy for you"  
"K, it is"  
"The protest is over, I assume"  
"Yes, I'm in a cafe now. I'll eat something and when I'm back it'll look just like I'm back from Decathlon practise"  
"You sure you can't make it to really be here?"  
"Yeah, it's too far away"  
"Ok, I'll tell you all about it. And remember to write someone from your classes so you are up to date with everything. I can talk to someone while I'm still in school if you want to and tell you what they are doing today"  
"I'll do it myself, why do you care so much?"  
That was actually a good question. He wasn't thinking much before proposing that, but it was true she was completely capable of getting info herself.  
"Why not?" He wrote back, because he just wanted to be evasive. Then he wrote another message:  
"Ok, I probably trouble you while you eat, I turn off the internet in my phone now, time to study!"  
Decathlon practise went as usual, which meant a lot Penis Parker jokes said just loudly enough for him to hear and just quietly enough for mr. Harrington not to. He didn't mind them very much.  
Of course he remembered to tell the teacher that MJ wasn't there for some sensible reason.  
After the meeting he changed and went patroling, nothing special today. But he could see he got better with judging whether someone needs help or not, so he wasn't taking people taking their own cars for criminals anymore.  
He came back home about nine p.m. and ate dinner heated in microwave. After that he decided it's good time to write MJ again.


	4. Chapter 4

He wanted to write her, but she's already done that first. Just after he turned on laptop he saw a facebook message:  
„U told harrington?"  
It was about two hours old, so she must have written it while he was still jumping around Queens. He replied:  
„Yes, of course"  
He didn't want the conversation to end ther, so he asked, event tho maybe he shouldn't:  
„Is your family ok today?"  
„Kind of, I guess. The was no argumnt in the house today, which is very uncommon"  
„I'm happy because of that and just so, so sorry that it's not like this everyday"  
„Yeah, I know, you've said it like a million times already"  
„It's just because I don't know what else to tell you. I'm just so sorry I can't help you in any way. Also I'm sorry that I kept you awake for so long last night, you were probably very tired today"  
„Stop blaming yourself for everything, seriously. I'm a free human and I can turn off Facebook if I want to"  
„I'm just so sorry"  
„Stop apologizing, jeez, you did nothing wrong. And you helped me, you did what I asked you for"  
„It was nothing, I just told Harrington that you have a dentist appointment"  
„How was the practise?"  
„Totally normal, kind of boring I would say. You know like sometimes we go into this offtopic discussions about stuff that we learn about and make jokes and learn shit but it's fun? It wasn't like it at all."  
„You got all the answers right as always"  
„No, I made a mistake once"  
„What? What happened to you?"  
„Nothing, I always make some mistakes"  
„Not true"  
„I sometimes make mistakes"  
„More like you make a mistake once in a few months"  
„Ok, probably"  
„Are you a robot? Is this what you're hiding?"  
„What? No. And I'm not hiding anything"  
„Yeah, you almost got me there"  
For a brief second he considered telling Michelle he is Spider-man, but that would be stupid. Especially over trackable Facebook account. Also she really was very observant. Or maybe obsessed with him?  
„Really, I have no secrets. What are you talking about"  
„You had to stop attending so many classes because of Stark internship? They don't want you to learn there by any chance?"  
„They weren't forcing me to skip them if that's what you mean, I just wanted more time, because I already have so little"  
„And you are also skipping sleep second night in a row, how do you even function?"  
„I menage. Hardest part is to remember to eat"  
„How can you even forget that, wtf"  
„I forget that all the time, I work for many hours and then I am super hungry, because I haven't eat anything all day"  
„How do you even function. Is this a boy puberty thing? I've heard that testosterone makes people more capable of physical effort"  
He really is terrible at keeping secrets. He should remember once and for all that he should not talk to people about weird things his body does at all, because puberty doesn't cover that.  
„Maybe. But my effort is less of the physical kind and more going into physics"  
„Oh my God, that's so lame I can't even"  
„What, physics? I don't think it's lame, it's beautiful"  
„No, this joke was lame"  
„I make lame jokes because I'm a loser"  
„You so are"  
He was a little anxious to post his response, but he could always make it into another lame joke.  
„You don't think I'm a loser at all, you want me to be your friend"  
„Even if so, I wouldn't tell"  
„Why exactly?"  
„I only express negative emotions"  
„And why is that?"  
„Just like you don't know. I'm super sure you are actually a little ball of anxiety and insecurieties like all of us nerds"  
„Tbh yes and no from me. I know the feeling for sure, but I feel kind of over with it"  
„How do you do that? Seriously, I need to know"  
He was so terrible at keeping secrets. So, so terrible. He wasn't really thinking about it before from this perspective, but since he bacame Spider-man it was harder for him to care about his social status and things like that. He became much more laid back when it comes to school and relations with people. So what to tell her?  
„I don't know, really. I always think about worst thing that might actually happen and reconcile with the idea before actually doing anything risky, like expressing positive emotions can be.  
„Easy in theory"  
„What is the worst possible outcome of you telling me you actually want me as a friend?"  
Is he hosting some kind of therapy now?  
„You would tell me that I suck and that you would never willingly talk to me and laugh at the idea of ever being friends with me"  
„Ok, I said possible. What the shit with me not wanting to talk to you? We've been talking for hours now. Also I don't think you suck. And I wouldn't laugh at you"  
„You just say that, because you're nice"  
„Congrats, you've just expressed your first positive emotion"  
„Maybe I would like to be friends with you. Happy now?  
„Yes I am, are you happy too? You've just gained a friend, because I would like to be friends with you too, of course"  
„Why would you like to be friends with me?"  
„Why not?"  
„Why yes?"  
„I don't know, I like talking to you? And I think you are very smart and funny, that is when you say anything at all, you aren't very talkative, when you talk to me irl you mainly insult me"  
„You mind that very much?"  
„Not really, those are funny insults, much better than repeating Penis Parker for million times"  
„I still have no idea why don't you just respond him with something like „My name is Penis Parker, because my dick is so big", he would shut up inmediately"  
„a) I don't like to brag about my big dick b) I haven't thought about that"  
„It's because you are nice and I am mean"  
He typed „You are not mean" but quickly deleted it, because she kind of was.  
„At least you have a reply for shit like that, I do nothing"  
Conversation went deeper into the night and memories from grade school, mainly in the matter of bulling. He felt guilty for not letting her sleep again, but what was his main concern was chemistry that they were going to have next day, because it's a class they were attending together.


	5. Chapter 5

Another schoolday spent on thinking about Michelle's reaction to stuff, great, Peter. In this case "stuff" meaning meeting him. Was she stressed about it as much as he was? Was she stressed at all? Maybe not, he was just projecting his own exaggerated fear.  
Also Ned is gonna be there. It wouldn't be half as weird without him.  
After not very prolific English lesson was over it was time for chemistry and he was quite sure he wasn't afraid anymore, he was just in this middle point between anticipation and stillness. He tried to distract himself from pointless obsessive thinking with a conversation with Ned, who was sitting next to him in lab waiting for teacher (and MJ). He was very sure it won't be a big thing. But he couldn't free his thoughts nonetheless.  
Ok. It happened. Michelle entered lab and took sit next to him as always. And what was she wearing? T'shirt with something that looked like a collage of Memling's "Last Judgement" and some illuminati symbols. Typical Michelle.  
What to do now?  
Trying to play it cool he said "Hi".  
She said "Hi" also. Cool. Cool cool cool.  
It's going well so far.  
He went back to talking with Ned about Lego sets planned for 2018, so he would at least not stare at her awkwardly. (And new Millennium Falcon looked appealing).  
Then he heard her speaking to both of them.  
"Are there any new sets with Olivia and robots?"  
Befere he acknowledged that they were talking, Ned answered.  
"Olivia? I don't know…"  
"From "Lego Friends". Little girl that creates robots and makes my feminist heart sing."  
Peter's main goal was to be casual, so he said: „I don't think Ned is a big „Lego Friends" nerd" event tho it was kind of obvious.  
"Fake geek boy" she said.  
"Are you a Lego fan?" Peter asked her.  
"A bit."  
Just when some weight started to fall from his mind, teacher came in and started writing today's assignment on the whiteboard.  
"You know, there are also some sets with women from STEM. And there is a new set from "Lego Ideas" with Margaret Hamilton and Nancy Roman" Peter told MJ.  
"You're a nerd."  
"Thank you."  
Today's assignment was checking temperature effect on chemical reactions. When they started, Peter was happy to observe that staying inside the lab was getting much easier to him with time. Just after the spider's bite his senses got hightened and smells of different chemicals were making him feel distracted and overwhelmed. Now his senses were still hightened, but navigating them was quite natural.  
During the classes he spoke to MJ just a few times, asking for reagents, he was mostly talking to Ned with whom he was working.  
He was sure it won't be that bad, especially after the first couple of minutes, and of course he was right, it was totally fine and not even awkward now. He could even free his mind from thinking about all the things she would say if she was there, because she actually was there. It granted him a certain kind of tranquilty.  
He was happy he had something to focus on, because he was quite sure he would get in some awkward kind of creepy mode if not for that. He would probably didn't know what to say and had a feeling he should say something or even worse - try saying something and then stop himself because he would find it stupid on the way and then say something even stupider to not be weird and it would be a catastrophe as it always was. Yep, he definitely is a loser.  
But classes came to an end eventually. Now it was time to again try not to be awkward.  
Oh. There was something he didn't think of while obsessing with chemistry. There is also a lunch break. And Michelle sits with them anyway. So she will most likely sit with them today also. Why wasn't he stressed about this all this time, there was so much more to be stressed about than chemistry.  
So, they were even all going in the same direction. What now, what now?  
"You have a new backpack" she said to him when he was picking it up.  
"Ah, yeah, yeah, I do. This previous one was falling apart. So yeah, a new backpack." Smooth.  
"I didn't look like it was falling apart."  
"It was. From the inside."  
She looked like she wasn't buying it. Maybe because he was so terrible with secrets and also basic human interactions.  
So they went to the cafeteria and on their way it was Ned who saved the day by starting a conversation with MJ about Lego. He was so sure it's gonna be awkward with Ned, like he's gonna be weirded out by them suddenly talking to each other for no reason, and here they are, not following his predictions at all.  
They took their seats and started eating sandwiches. It was chill. They were still talking. All three of them. Not about Lego anymore, but other things, mostly nerdy. He never knew MJ is this geeky, but it was cool to know.  
He was thrusting all his awkward nature inside and it was going quite well. There was even no interruption in the form of Flash. Only other person that spoke to them was Cindy, that lent MJ notebooks with yesterday's notes.  
It seemed like Ned was as much unaware of this geeky side of Michelle as Peter was, because every once in a while he was saying something like "I never knew you liked "Battlestar Galactica"" and then she was giving of course some snarky remarks.


	6. Chapter 6

After lunch he decided to go patroling instead of going to his last classes, even tho Tony Stark would probably give him shit for that as for doing something that he himself would totally do, because he specifically told him not to follow his unresponsible behaviours. To not be a completely bad protege, he made a promise to himself to not get in some big trouble again and really call someone more experienced if he'll see something that might get him killed. Fortunately, that wasn't the day he got himself in deadly dangers and even managed to help some people in a car accident get out of one, so things were good. No maniacs dressed as animals on the streets except for him today. Yay.  
He sat on the roof of one of the shops at near the st John's University Campus and told Karen to text Happy.  
„You have one unread message from Michelle" said Karen when she went into his texts.  
„Open"  
„"Hi, can I come over?" - It is from an hour ago, should I text back?"  
Time flied like crazy when he was patroling.  
„Text: "Yeah, ok. You know where I live?"" He was kind of sure he could get there faster than her.  
The response came in a minute.  
„Yes, I've heard you talking with Ned once" Should he be alarmed? Why was she remembering all this stuff? Anyway, he took his backpack from where it was hidden and guided himself home.  
Karen started to have the same idea as him and started to ask him about who Michelle is and why she was so observant of him. Of course, she was sure it was some kind of a romantic drama and he could not convince her otherwise, especially after he called MJ „smart, brave and pretty"(he could admit it was his fault, he should be much more careful about what he says to his suit, knowing Karen).  
Just like Karen he was curious why she wanted to visit him tho. Was it lika a school thing? They weren't doing any project together or anything. Maybe just studying? Maybe she wanted him to help her with math or something?  
Did she want to just come and talk to him since they established they are friends now? Would she do that? When they talked in school it was ok, but not even close to talking online, so maybe she wanted a close conversation face to face? Maybe she wanted to talk with no Ned around? She was too secretive for him and he was the one living double life.  
He was getting close to the house. Now May knew the truth, so he could get in throught a window in suit and change then, even if May was to see him. If there were no neighbours around that is. It was always safer to change before and just use doors, but he was in hurry now and Karen made him a quick scan of the street and a few houses around, it was safe to get in in suit.  
He jumped to his room throught a window that was permanently open just for that use. He made some noise, so May probably knew already that he was there. He put his backpack on the floor next to the desk and quickly changed clothes. Normally he would take a shower just after getting back from a patrol, but he decided to check in with May first.  
He came out of his room and first thing he's heard was her voice from the corridor saying:  
„You have a guest"  
What? Already? Or maybe it was someone else. Like Ned or Tony Stark, because who beside them would casually sit in the living room waiting for him?  
He turned back and saw MJ walking out of the bathroom. He was quite shocked for sure. How in the hell was she so fast? Did she live closer that he thought? Or was she walking by when he wrote her? What the hell?  
„Hi, I was waiting for you for some time now" she said super casually as always.  
He was actually to much into processing to answer anything to her.  
„Peter, Michelle and I just ate, if you want some pasta I can heat i tup for you" said May and it got him back to Earth.  
„A, no. There's no need, I'll heat it later".  
MJ got closer to him and he had no idea what to do.  
Oh, it was to get into his room, and he was standing in doors like a moron, ok.  
He got back inside just after her and closed the door involuntarily and just after that he realised that May might get some bad ideas about them. Or worse, MJ might think he might be getting some bad ideas. It would be weird to open them back now anyway.  
He looked at her and had no idea what to say, so it kind of saved him that she spoke first.  
„How did you get home? I haven't heard you coming by front doors"  
It did super not save him.  
„What? I just got back home, what are you talking about?" Was he red on his face yet? Or super pale?  
„Ok, then where were you?"  
„I was out in the city. I was in the old Stark Tower." Maybe it would be better to get offensive. „And how are you already here, I just wrote you back."  
„A, yeah, actually I waited for an answer for like a ten minutes and came here uninvited hoping that you would not kick me out, and your aunt was very nice."  
He was like super confused now, but May being nice was the least confusing part.  
„So… did you need anything? Why did you came? Is it like a school thing?"  
„You're Spider-man."  
„What? No! Why do you think that?" What what what what, it was not happening. Was she following him like a crazy stalker? Why did she really came here?  
„You left your suit on the carpet, you moron."


	7. Chapter 7

He was a complete idiot. Why did he left the suit like this? He had no idea she was already in his house, but it was so stupid. The whole situation was utterly stupid.  
He was standing still shocked and ashamed after what he's heard and probably looking as stupid as he was. He was also positive he was getting red in the face. This might have easily been the most awkward moment of his life, if it wasn't for talking to Liz's father who happened to be a supervillain in a car getting to the homecoming.  
„God, you look so vulnerable, I'm starting to feel sorry for you"  
Hearing her words put his brain into working mode again.  
„Don't tell anyone" he said quickly.  
„Yeah, I won't, but everyone probably has it all figured out already, sorry to break it to you"  
And he thought the shock was over.  
„Wha-wha-what? Why?  
She sat on the bunk bed and he continued standing like stupid.  
„Are you even serious? You are awful at keeping secrets. Before the carpet I was like 99% sure it's you. You remember when this one time when Spider-man was seen outside of New York it was in Washington DC while you were accidentaly there and you were also not there just the moment Spider-man was saving your friends? Because I do. Do you even try?"  
When she put it like this, it was suddenly very bad.  
„Have you talked to anynone? You just think everybody knows or do you know everybody knows?"  
„I don't really talk to people"  
He got a bit calmer.  
„Fortunately not everyone is that interested in my life as you would think, MJ" Was he offensive enough? Because getting offensive should work at least for this certain moment of this conversation. „Anyway, why did you came here?"  
„Aw, I just left house, because my father was very bad, I could go to the library or Starbucks or anywhere else and I thought I might as well come here"  
„I'm sorry"  
„It's good now, I'm not in my house"  
„But I'm sorry you're not good in your house"  
„Don't you think we have some better subject to talk about? I mean I can talk shit on my father all you want, but it wouldn't be half as interesting"  
„Ah, yeah, ok" he said trying to concentrate, touching his neck unconsciously.  
„So… ? Care to share what this is all about?"  
„You mean Spider-man?"  
„No, your other alter-ego"  
He ignored that, what else.  
As he tried to think off where to start, he sat on the computer chair in front of her.  
„So this is the Stark internship"  
„So it's like in the Avengers not in Stark Industries?"  
„Yeah, kind of"  
„So you have an unpaid internship in the Avengers?"  
„That's one way to put it, yes"  
„And what do you do? Jump beetween buildings and look for people in danger to pull them out of opression?"  
„This and other stuff. Last month I worked out a group of arms dealers"  
„You mean Star Industries"  
„No, I mean business built on mixing alien technology with ours"  
„What the hell"  
„Yes."  
„I mean I know aliens are out there, but I had no idea… Anyway. How do you climb walls? I've seen on youtube…"  
„That's the weird part"  
„You tell me about alien weapons and this is the weird part?"  
„Well, yes. It's super weird"  
„Shoot me"  
„A radioactive spider bit me and it gave me superpowers like walking on walls, jumping super high, superhumanly good senses and sixth sense warning me before danger"  
„What the actual fuck"  
„Yeah, it's weird"  
„Why are you so calm? I would never be calm again"  
„Well, I had some time to get used to it"  
In a second she got most wondered he has ever seen her.  
„You shoot web from your hands?"  
„No, not at all, chill. I'm not that much changed."  
„It's least chill thing ever anyway. It's fucking weird, Peter. And wait, so how do you shoot webs?"  
„I made shooters myself, recreating spider's web in our chemistry lab."  
„You are such a nerd I can't even. Also this is actually impressive."  
„Well, thanks" Did this room just got hotter? Was he getting red again?  
„So wait, how do you function now? You have these super senses like all the time?"  
„Yup, this is how it is now. At first I was super overwhelmed, these changes all happened at once and hit me super hard, I had no idea what was happening, because I had too many sounds and smells around me. Sight was not a problem tho, I just don't need glasses anymore."  
„How did your aunt react? What does she even know?"  
„Now? Everything. Then? Not much. My uncle was still around then and he told me it's puberty, so I went with it"  
„What male puberty even is if you could cover walking on walls with it."  
„It was a while before I noticed that, so… I mainly covered with it getting fit and muscular"  
Did she change for a second her expression whe he said „muscular" or maybe it was him?  
„And how do you do now? How do you live on daily basis with superpowers? I mean it's fucking weird"  
„I can sure tell you May is watching news in her bedroom now. I don't know, I was always weird"  
„You hear from your aunt's bedroom?"  
„Not like everything, sounds have different waves, which you know as a good physics student, through walls I hear best those lower ones. I can also mute them in a way, it's a question of focus."  
„I also wanted to tell you Ned is even worse at keeping secrets than you are, what was telling people you're friends with Spider-man even about? How were people not supposed to find out."  
„Ah, yeah. Yes. That happened, yes" It was as embarassing now as it was then. Or no, with MJ's look it was much more embarassing.  
„Can you walk on ceiling?"  
Instead of answering he just got up, walked on a wall and then on ceiling. He had a T-shirt on, not a suit, so the top slid off a bit and MJ was looking at his abs now.


	8. Chapter 8

„Are you comfortable up there? Doesn't your blood go all into your head?"

She asked from lower part of his bunk bed on which she was sitting on.  
„Nah, no problem. The real problem is that gravity still works so if I were to make a jump or tried to run I would fall." he said and just like that made a squat and then jumped and made a somersault to land on the damned carpet that exposed him a while ago.

„And you learned how to do this how?"

„I'm not quite sure. It just came with time." He sat back in the computer chair next to the bed and tried to judge by the look on her face if she was impressed but he couldn't. He couldn't even tell if she was genuinely surprised although she said she was. To be exact, she said this was weird, but that implied she was surprised, right? She didn't look like she was. A moment ago he was pretty sure he was making an impression on her, but now it seemed like he was delusional. For someone with such good perception he could sure learn something about observation from her.

She lifted her legs a little from the ground, suggesting that she wanted to get them onto his bed. She had no shoes on and was wearing socks that were not same but were a pair. Just another trend he is missing out on. „Can I?" she asked raising her eyebrows and looking in his eyes. He nodded not caringly and she crossed her legs on his bed looking very good.

Was it time now to remind himself to get awkward after a crushing realisation that she was in his room?

„How did you not go insane? Or are you insane?"

„What do you mean?"

„I mean you walk on walls. And hear voices. And smell… I don't know what you smell, but I'm pretty sure some weird stuff. Can you smell fear? Like a dog?"

On the one hand it was more comfortable to talk about his second life than about childhood traumas, on the other, this question was har from comfortable.

„I don't know… It was hard. And to try to hide it… You know, you may say I sucked at hiding being Spider-man, but even you didn't know how I changed. And it arguably had more impact on my life in school than being a superhero after hours. It was really bad at the beginning, like.. really, really bad. And maybe I went a little insane. I had no idea what was happening and whole world at once was just too much all of the sudden. And I don't think I can smell fear? But to be honest I don't even know what I can smell or hear, dogs basically smell hormones, so maybe I could learn to distinguish this scent." He could tell her some of his experiences with developing smell including suddenly being aware of every period any of his classmates was on, but he decided not to. „I don't know." he leaned against the backrest and was now looking at the ceiling.

„I probably smell like fear all the time." she changed position and reclined.

He looked at her and said: „You smell like you."  
„It's the smell of fear. Also you said you didn't know I was in your apartment, how did you not smell me?"

„I told you I tone a lot of it down, it's too much. If I suspected you were here I would smell you."

„That's gross."

„It's gross to smell thirty boys on PE, you smell good." Why did he say that?

„Thanks, it's the weirdest complement I have ever heard or that I will ever hear."

„So, I don't know, you came here to hide from your father, but do you have something to do, like homework or do you just want to sit and read? I don't know how to entertain you, I don't have guests very often".

„That's unfortunate, because with those somersaults you would be really good at entertaining publicity. Wait, you know you can use your powers for evil, right? Like in sport?"

„I know, but that's not me. Also everyone would be asking questions."

„In sports that would be cheating, but you could just show off and sell tickets. And why did you even keep it a secret?"

„What else, tell everyone I hear voices? Yeah, that would make a lot less problems for me. I'm weird enought how it is."

She was now just straight up lying on his bed and it was unusual to see.

„And why do you fight crime?"

„Because I can? To not feel useless?"

„I get it."

Well, that's actually great, because he was not very much up to adding any more reasons to the list, because that would have to include telling her about what happened to his uncle and he was already pushing deep down a slight urge to cry.

„And how do you even sleep in this bed? This mattress is fucking hard."

„I like it that way."

„And that is the weirdest thing about you I learned today." He lughed a little.

„I also like olives."

„Who are you even." She was looking directly at him, but it wasn't intimidating as it often is with her.

„You drink black coffee."  
„It's the only coffee." She overplayed offense.

„And my aunt is Italian, but we love pineapple on pizza."

„I'm sorry your aunt is lying to you, she is not Italian, Peter. Pizza with pineapple is delicious tho".

„I'll invite you one day when she'll be making it."

„I'll make photos."

He looked around the room to find some new topic for a conversation. His suit was still there… No, not that he was done with explaining this part of his life for today. Lego? What else is there to say. Star wars? Maybe next time. A console?

„Do you want to play Mario kart?"

„The question is if you want to play with a champion."


	9. Chapter 9

"Okay, you won, but just because I'm not good with this pad. Yet. One more time and I would beat you to the ground."  
"But that would also be boring, because we played like eight times" Peter said while turning the console off. He was closer, because he was sitting in his computer chair, while she stayed on the bed.  
"It's impossible that I lost so many times. Or you were cheating." MJ responded accusingly.  
He looked genuinely surprised.  
"I was cheating how? You would notice."  
"I don't mean in-game cheating, I mean you play life on cheats. Don't you have like inhumanly good reflex? I'm pretty sure you do."  
"I do. I don't know, I wasn't doing it on purpose."  
"I'm not saying you were, I'm saying you play life on cheats. And I don't get it. Besides that I don't get how radioactive spider can give a person spider powers, but only the cool ones, I don't get why your instant reaction was to hide something that has an impact on everything you do in your everyday life."  
And there she goes, legs on the bed again. And she was kind of changing subject all over the place.  
"Umm, I don't know, I was scared."  
"Yeah, exactly, and you didn't even tell your aunt? I get that you didn't want to be weird, but that's like next level making life harder."  
She got him there, and he got silent for a moment and scratched his neck.  
"Yeah, I guess."  
"You guess? I understand you didn't asked any scientist or doctors what's up with you?"  
"Nah, not true, I talked with a lot of people from superhero business, half of them have PhDs."  
She looked like she did not expect that response, and he wondered if maybe now she was impressed with him, but probably just surprised. Or she just never looked impressed,because with high probability she never was.  
"So you were working with Stark from the beginning?"  
"Nope, he found me on YouTube."  
"You suck at hiding your double identity even more than I thought, and I thought you were like, really bad." she moved from her back to her side, looking straight at him "So I was right, you did not ask anyone what the hell was happening with you, you really told no one?"  
Should he be ashamed now, is it really this weird?  
" Yeah... Pretty much how it went."  
"You really don't wanna be weird." The look on her face remained unchanged and pretty much emotionless.  
"Aren't you hungry by now? I make good scrambled eggs."  
He decided on changing the topic as fast as he could before he realised that she would see through him and instantly take it for a confirmation. Welp.  
"Actually I should probably go home for dinner instead of taking up so much of your time anyway."  
At this point he was quite sure she was just trying to annoy him, and it was kind of working."  
"MJ, I told you, it's no problem, you can even sleep here, I don't care."  
For a moment he was able to see something in her expression changing, he wasn't quite sure what it was, but something nonetheless.  
"Maybe some other time, I don't have any pijamas."  
"It's a home, we have some clothes here."  
It was not happening, but he just wanted to know, how this conversation goes.  
"Also I'm not wearing your clothes to school."  
"That ugly?"  
"Gee, not what I meant. What I meant was I'm not wearing your clothes to school. And I don't have a toothbrush anyway."  
"You do whatever you want, I'm just offering."  
It was kind of funny how this topic made him feel like he had an upper hand for once.  
"I know. I'm just answering."  
She looked a bit awkward and he was happy to see her like that. Not that he was happy he made her awkward, he himself was just super awkward all the time, and it was good to see such a cool person all awkward too.  
He clapped his hands. "So, scrumbled eggs?"  
"Nah, I really should be heading home." She got up and started straightening her long skirt that basically looked like hipster pants.  
He got up to, because he didn't know what else to do. She grabbed her jacket from the hanger and a backpack from the floor and he went after her, to say goodbye.  
After she wished him goodnight "if he even needs to sleep" and went out of the apartment, May came into the kitchen.  
"She seems nice, but you could've told me she was coming, I would cook a better dinner."  
"I'm sure it's great anyway, and what is it by the way?"  
"I figured, I wanted to ask you if you wanted dinner, but I didn't want to interrupt. It's chicken soup."  
Oh God, was she suggesting something now? Or probably not, after giving it some thought, he was overinterpreting.  
He gladly helped May set the table and enjoyed his meal. After dinner, back in his room, when he was preparing to sleep, a realization hit him - his whole bed smelled like Michelle now.


End file.
